This is easily her best quality; a source of endless hilarity.
For those of you who who have pets and never anthropomorphize them, there’s a gold mine of entertainment that you’ve yet to tap. Our Stanley is the hissing, growling, teenager of our three cats. We imagine her being a totally boy-crazy, Twilight-obsessed teenager with braces and a spitty speaking voice, oozing with attitude. Seemingly out of step with this image of the impossible tween (and most cats I’ve ever known), Stanley is butt-crazy in love with Stefanie; dog-like in her devotion. She wants to sit next to Stefanie at all times, most often touching her at least with one foot as if to communicate to the rest of us, “She’s my mommy, stupids” (remember: braces voice!). When recently flipping through some photos from Valentine’s Day with Stef opening her new computer, we cracked up as we noticed several consecutive photos with Stanley just staring at Stefanie.
"You're sooooo pretty Mommy."
I’m convinced that since Stanley was never spayed, she’s just chosen Stefanie as her life partner. Unfortunately for Stan, it seems that she’s never gotten the hint that she’s part of the critter crew. So what does this mean for the future non-furry member of said crew? I’m worried. You can’t walk behind Stanley without her freaking out, hissing and trotting along in front of you just fast enough to be under foot, thus encouraging more hissing, etc. She bullies Esther, terrorizes Mamushka and can’t keep her raptor-like claws out of flesh or fabric. Once Stanley has a bonafide baby to contend with, the countdown to claws 1, baby 0 can’t be far behind. Furthermore, once the baby starts scooting around the cats’ stomping grounds, I can’t see how the greasers and socs can avoid a rumble. I foresee a year of Stan stalking the baby, taking cheap shots when she can, followed by a good couple of years of the baby getting his revenge via “accidental” tail and whisker pulls. Stefanie seems to be convinced that Stanley can behave herself. I hope she’s right.
-Nathan
